Noise
Right now there is just too much noise around me. I'm just wondering how to find inner peace, the silence and calmness that comes from being part of a greater wonder that's the universe. This is the place where mystery is actually comforting, not a daunting task to unravel, and this humbles you to the point of contentment or sadness.
Instead I'm finding that this world is full of liars and all talk. Yes we talk to express our thoughts but what about the emotions, the muddy things that should be our inspiration. It's all reminding me of that Talib Kweli & Res song - "where do we go, what do we say, what do we do? no where to turn, no where to run and there's nothing new. where do we go for inspiration, it's like pain is our only inspiration."
Its usual for me to think of emotions as cancerous, something to be expelled from our system but they are not. They indicate where we are spiritually and why. Emotions give us purpose. Plato wrote that "Emotions are the enemy of Reason" but I disagree. They are the impetus to Reason, they are why Reason(s) make sense at all...
I would rather work and live from a place of passion and deep anger, developing Reason through these lenses, than from the monotonous and pretentious vision of intellectual Reason alone.
But since I'm finding out how emotionally detached I can be in my daily life -a relatively new personal revelation- I feel bored with all the Reasons that have until now been my telescope.
I pray to God to give me the ultimate purpose that comes from having a unified perspective. I asked my mother the other day if she thought I was more emotional or intellectual and she couldn't understand the question. She asked, how can your brain work without your heart? And through that I saw the communication problem we were having...we were incommesurable in that second. It is a learned impulse to separate (or at least seem to separate) your mind from your heart but my goal now is to undo that and never look back.
Instead I'm finding that this world is full of liars and all talk. Yes we talk to express our thoughts but what about the emotions, the muddy things that should be our inspiration. It's all reminding me of that Talib Kweli & Res song - "where do we go, what do we say, what do we do? no where to turn, no where to run and there's nothing new. where do we go for inspiration, it's like pain is our only inspiration."
Its usual for me to think of emotions as cancerous, something to be expelled from our system but they are not. They indicate where we are spiritually and why. Emotions give us purpose. Plato wrote that "Emotions are the enemy of Reason" but I disagree. They are the impetus to Reason, they are why Reason(s) make sense at all...
I would rather work and live from a place of passion and deep anger, developing Reason through these lenses, than from the monotonous and pretentious vision of intellectual Reason alone.
But since I'm finding out how emotionally detached I can be in my daily life -a relatively new personal revelation- I feel bored with all the Reasons that have until now been my telescope.
I pray to God to give me the ultimate purpose that comes from having a unified perspective. I asked my mother the other day if she thought I was more emotional or intellectual and she couldn't understand the question. She asked, how can your brain work without your heart? And through that I saw the communication problem we were having...we were incommesurable in that second. It is a learned impulse to separate (or at least seem to separate) your mind from your heart but my goal now is to undo that and never look back.
posted by Helenism at 3:45 p.m.
3 Comments:
You may or may not find the relevance in this quote, but I love to share it anyhow:
"God has placed us midway between the angels and the beasts, and that any attempt to deny our creatureliness, to be like the angels, will leave us no better than the beasts" St. Augustine
If only emotions could be exalted again; they have suffered from such extreme neglection.
I'm touched by your honesty and empathise. We often don't notice how toxic (emotionally, spiritually, physically, politically) our environment can be. We catch all kinds of emotional and spiritual bugs from the crap that flies about, just like we catch colds and flus.
Stage 1 of combatting this viral vulnerability is to recognise it as an issue (which you do). Stage 2 is to learn ways to protect oneself. Stage 3 is to learn ways to re-acquaint ourselves with the marvellous mystery of the universe.
I'm not saying I have any real answers, but I find the Buddhist "meta bhavana" meditation incredibly good at refocusing oneself and return to a playful and loving relationship to the world. A simplified version of meta bhavana is to think of a time when you were very happy, and dwell on the memory, then project loving kindness out from there onto friends and the world in general.
This week, I remembered a time I and a friend drove out of Manchester in the middle of a Summer's night years ago, and found a large grassy hill in the Peak District. We climbed to the top of the hill, and slid on our bums at speed all the way down. The moon shone brightly, we wore down our trousers as one slide became ten, but we were deliriously happy and at one with the world..
Thanks Anonymous and Jeremy, I am sorry I neglected to post earlier but looking back on this I realize your comments were too good to be ignored.
I love that quote from St. Augustine. And Jeremy you're right, I think, about the 3 step program. Thanks for your story it was very sweet and I remember a similar feeling from travelling far from here, strange smells, different people...all an inspiration.
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